Yesterday, I had one of those “lightbulb” moments - but a big one. I was reading that self-compassion can be a catalyst for change and it really hit me as a trainer and as an individual.
It’s difficult to call up self-compassion, especially when everyone is posting their absolute best moments on social media non-stop. So when we don’t see immediate results or fail to get over hurdles the first time, it’s soooo easy to just beat ourselves up about it.
My Story
My weight goes up and down and frankly, to be super lean takes a lot of work, a LOT. But because I work in the fitness industry I spent a lot of time hyper focussed on trying to get down a weight, that frankly, is not realistic for me. After years of constant weigh-ins - I got fed up and decided that weight loss could not be my primary goal all the time.
Why Did I Change My Focus?
#1- I was totally ignoring my actual success and victories of getting stronger, having great cardio and mobility. Not allowing myself to enjoy the activities I was doing and the joy of movement.
#2 - The colossal WASTE OF TIME. Being so hyper focused on that one thing and not enjoying my time at the gym or my life.
So, while people can discuss weight and weight loss for 1,000 years (and I'm sure they will) - I have decided to my energy and time on my fitness, my nutrition and my mental health and let that guide me to a healthy place. Having self compassion actually motivated me more than daily weigh-ins and being upset with myself.
When we give ourselves a break, it’s much easier to get up and ‘do the thing’ knowing that if it doesn’t work out exactly the way we want, it doesn’t mean we are crap at being human beings. Being human means the occasional failure and it’s much more important that we love ourselves enough to try again or try something different than to let shame defeat us into inaction.
Self Compassion has a Lot of Benefits:
Reduces Fear of Failure - Knowing that failure is not the end of the world and we can still love ourselves despite not hitting the mark, takes away a lot of fear.
Encourages Growth Mindset - When we are gentle with ourselves, we’re more likely to see the benefits that come from change and not just the obstacles or mistakes that come from trying something new.
Improves Resilience - Self compassion gives us resilience, allowing us to bounce back from setbacks because we’ve stopped paying attention to self-judgement.
Increases Motivation - If we care for ourselves, we tend to make decisions that work in our best interest.
Creates Sustainable Change - When we make decisions based on our health benefit and not based on shame or perceived judgement of others, we can create long term change because it’s bringing us joy.
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